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5 Tips for Setting Your 2016 Intentions—It's Not Too Late!

2/7/2016

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It's February, and for the last few weeks, I've been mulling over my intentions for 2016.

The lovely thing about setting an intention versus a resolution is an intention can be fluid if it needs to be, and it doesn't have to be January 1 when you set it. When I set an intention any time in the year, I am shifting my focus to a new thought or way of being. The wonderful thing about an intention is I can adjust it at any time. Another bonus is intentions feel more positive than resolutions, which can seem like a set up for failure
Would you like to set an intention or two for 2016? Here are some tips on how to go about it.

5 Tips for Setting Your Intentions


Let your heart and gut be your guide.
If your thoughts and deepest wishes are gravitating toward an area of your life, let your intention be about that area. I've been pulled toward making some changes in how I spend my time as well as letting go of some things that no longer serve me, so my intentions reflect this focus in my life.

Phrase your intention in a positive way. (And write it down!)
Another deviation from resolutions is that an intention is phrased differently. It is a big picture idea of what you would like to see more of in your life. One way to phrase your intentions is how I have done below.

May I spend more time awake and aware in this moment.
May I let go of the things and the habits that no longer serve me.
May I make choices that allow me to spend more time doing things that fill me up.

Find a way to live it/support it.
Once you've set an intention, see if there is an action you can take to help you shift your attention toward it. Maybe there is a class or a book or a group you could join that will support you as you explore your intention.

For example, here are some ways I intend to support my intentions. You don't have to have it all figured out on day one. As opportunities to live your intention present themselves, see if it feels right to participate.

May I spend more time awake and aware in this moment.
I plan to continue my daily meditation practice and to complete the online meditation class I started. I would like to connect with other parents that live nearby to get together monthly to discuss and practice mindfulness and meditation. I would like to attend a meditation/mindfulness retreat.

May I let go of the things and the habits that no longer serve me.
I have found inspiration from this Minimalism Challenge and this Minimalism Game. I also signed up for a 365-day course with the Daily Om called A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back!

May I make choices that allow me to spend more time doing things that fill me up.
This one is harder for me, but I feel like working on the above two intentions will make it easier for me to choose to do the things I enjoy and need in my life. I also plan to start writing in my journal each night my what my intentions are for the next day, and then I will checking in with them the following night. I have used an intention journal before, and it has helped me to shift my habits in the past.

Be kind to yourself.
An intention isn't helpful if it makes you feel like a failure or overwhelmed. Try just setting one intention. It will naturally shift your focus and your thoughts. If thinking about your intention causes you to feel anxious or worried, try pausing, taking a deep breath, and noticing how the anxiety or worry is felt in your body. Ultimately, if we are able to approach ourselves with kind attention, we will be more likely to change in the ways we desire. An excellent way to reinforce this sense of kindness toward ourselves and others is to practice lovingkindness. Here is are two lovingkindness meditations from two of my favorite meditation teachers.
Guided Lovingkindness Meditation with Tara Brach
Unguided Lovingkindness Meditation from Jack Kornfield

Be flexible.
If your intention isn't resonating with you anymore, feel free to change it. Periodically revisiting your intentions and where you place your attention will give you a chance to adjust, so that you are moving in the direction you desire.

Have you been mulling over or set any intentions for 2016? If so, what areas of your life are you focusing on?

If you happen to want to deepen your meditation practice, Sounds True has a free, 3-part meditation video series that's based upon the course I am taking. Tara Brach's website is also a great resource for guided meditations and meditation talks.

Blessings!

Joanna
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Learning from Baby: A Lesson in Connectedness

8/19/2015

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PictureStevie showing his smile on Molokai in May.
We recently took at trip to the Hawaiian islands of Oahu and Molokai. We weren't sure how 6.5 month old Stevie would do on such a long plane trip, so we broke it up with an overnight stay in Oakland both ways. That gave us three round-trip flights to practice traveling with our sweet little boy.

Before our Hawaii vacation, our only other trip by plane was to Austin in March when Stevie was four months old. The biggest thing we learned then was that the baby was just a small factor in how the trip would go—the primary factor we could control (in theory) was us, the parents. We couldn't control how Stevie behaved—if he was going to cry the whole flight, it was up to him, not us. If we could “behave” as his parents and adults, then the journey would go as well as it could. By “behave,” I mean not be attached to any specific outcome and doing our best to accept and go with whatever presented itself. Traveling with a baby is was full of unknowns, so we just needed to roll with it. I would say this is a recipe for pleasant travel whether or not you have a baby en tow. Most of these realizations came from us not going with the flow on this trip.

Our Hawaii trip was another opportunity to try to stay in the moment and to allow things to be as they were. We invested a great deal more time and money in preparation, and we wanted it to go well. After a little over six months of parenting, we craved a break and some peace and relaxation. So we were definitely attached to this outcome and hoping for the best.

I wish I could report back that I floated through each day fully accepting all that was in each moment. I cannot. However, I can say that my baby taught me valuable lessons about how to be present with others while traveling and in life. The magic of a baby is they haven't yet formed expectations and attachments and judgements. Stevie only knows this moment. And in another moment, he will have forgotten this one.

Probably the biggest blessing of the journey were our flights. As we waited at the Denver airport for the first of six flights, Stevie began our lessons in humanity. My husband held him as I ate lunch, and an older gentlemen struck up conversation with us. He told us about his many grandchildren while Stevie gave him huge, excited smiles. Meanwhile, two small girls came over to say hi to Stevie. This was the first of many connections our baby forged for us that we most likely would have missed out on if it wasn't for him.

The trend continued the next day on our flight from Oakland to Honolulu when Stevie attempted to make friends with everyone around us who was awake. We met a woman from Boston who teaches music at a college there. She smiled at him and clapped her hands and played peekaboo. Stevie was enamored. He also couldn't get enough of the two kids seated behind us. They thought he was pretty great too, calling him cute and exclaiming that he didn't seem to ever blink his eyes.

On our flight from Molokai to Honolulu, he made friends with two locals and two other tourists. We were offered free childcare on our next visit to the island while Stevie worked his magic with his huge toothless smile. Later in the day, on our flight back to Oakland, an older Brazilian couple made friends with Stevie and almost demanded to hold him. He was in heaven being held by complete strangers. He could probably tell they were grandparents—they were traveling to see their grandkids in the Bay area. On the same flight, we met a mom and her four-year-old son who speaks Japanese and Spanish and is now picking up English. Once again, Stevie was delighted.

On our final flight home, we met a couple going to visit family in the Denver area—and of course, Stevie charmed them as well. Across the aisle, a younger guy we hadn't even talked to asked if he could take Stevie's picture because he was so cute.

These are only experiences while we were traveling. They don't include the woman working at a papaya farm on Molokai who snatched Stevie up and took him back to see the workers sorting fruit. Or the countless other people we engaged with because of our sweet baby's smile of genuine interest and joy.

It's been a few months since we took this trip, and since then we have made new connections daily. Stevie continues to smile freely to anyone who will give him a moment and smile in return. Every single day, our baby, now over nine months old, teaches us with these smiles and his goodness. I believe his primary lesson is for us to not hold back our goodness, but instead to share it freely with others without fear of rejection or other harm.

Stevie hasn't learned to be shy or to withhold his sweetness and purity. He hasn't learned to judge others because they are different. To him, the differences are interesting and new. He learns as he meets people of different ages and ethnic backgrounds. He hasn't created a story in his mind about these groups. He can be with each of them and offer his goodness and receive their goodness. And, he reminds us to do the same. To be present with people we meet. To be open to them and to offer our goodness and to receive theirs. To share this one moment with them. To not judge them or to be afraid of them. To know that we are all people, and we were all once sweet, innocent, smiling babies. What more do we need to know? In the ways that matter, we are all the same.


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A First Mother's Day

5/9/2015

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As my first Mother's Day approaches, I realize I have a choice about how I meet the day. I can lump it in with all of the other holidays and layer on expectations and ideas of what the perfect day would be like. Or, I can shift and greet this new day with acceptance and mindfulness. Since this is my first Mother's Day, I have a chance to set the tone for Mother's Days to come. Instead of creating expectations of what may or may not come to be, I will set a few intentions for my day.

May I spend my first Mother's Day in gratitude.

May I pause and enjoy the moments of this day.

May I spend the day free of technology.

For me, spending the day on a technology fast will support my intentions to be grateful and to be fully present for my first Mother's Day. It's all too easy to allow a screen to call my attention instead.

I have much to be grateful for...

  • My sweet little family—my husband of almost 10 years, our six month old Stevie, our 17-year-old-dog.

  • The many precious moments of motherhood—holding my baby heavy with sleep; watching him light up with a huge smile when he sees his daddy; the sound of his uncontrollable, sweet laughter; the feeling of his tiny hand tightly holding my finger; his expression of joy when he watches our dog; listening to his baby talk while he tries and likes a new food.

  • Time with my husband to connect and just be us.

  • Moments alone when I take care of myself and recharge, slowing down to connect with my body and spirit.

  • The ability to expand my limited breastfeeding diet, especially to reintroduce dairy now that the baby's digestive system has developed more.

  • The magic and beauty of spring—the smells, the sounds, the colors, and the daily changes as plants and trees grow and flower anew.

What are you grateful for this Mother's Day? Is there an intention you would like to set for the day?

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When You're Breastfeeding, Just Breastfeed.

4/12/2015

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About a month ago, I set my intention to breastfeed mindfully. Initially, I thought it would be good to pause and do a lovingkindness meditation. I also got the idea from the book Mindfulness To Go to take and count four breaths when I'm breastfeeding as a way to become more present. Breathe in—one. Breath out—one. Breathe in—two. Breath out—two, etc.

My intention was mostly in response to my cell phone use and distracted thinking while I breastfed. Shortly after Stevie was born, I found myself frantically searching online for answers to my many new mama questions. Was this colic? How much spitting up is normal? Does my baby have gas, and what can I do about it? And so on. I had a hard time finding another time to look things up, so I picked up my phone while I breastfed.

Now that Stevie is five months old, we understand each other better even though I still have lots of questions. I don't feel as desperate to find answers outside of the two of us. I still look things up, but I don't feel like I need to do this when I'm breastfeeding. My phone habit while breastfeeding has extended to texting, looking on Facebook, checking my email, etc. Spending time on those activities while my little guy eats is not at all rewarding. And, I know this time is precious because babies change so very quickly.

Knowing this, why do I still have a hard time putting my phone down and not distracting myself while I feed my baby? I can't say that I have an answer, but I feel like there's a cultural norm to grasp for more. We seek immediate gratification, and with technology, we think we can have it on-demand, 24-7.

I know I enjoy my days and moments most when I am unplugged. In nature. Spending time with my husband. Talking to a friend. Cooking. Gardening. So, I choose to make a change. I choose to pause and to breathe and to send loving thoughts to myself, my baby, and my husband. May our little family be happy. May our little family be healthy. May our little family be safe.

When I remember to pause and make this my practice, I feel a sense of peace and contentment. Until a week ago, I hadn't remembered to post any visiual reminders to pause and check in while breastfeeding. It has already started to help me remember to slow down and be present even when I'm not in the spot where my reminder is.

“When you're walking, Just Walk; When You're Birthing, Just Birth.” This is the title of a chapter from Nancy Bardacke's book Mindful Birthing. This book was an invaluable tool for me while I was preparing for childbirth. This chapter title stuck with me. It's simple but to the point. When you're doing something, give it—and only it—your full attention. Probably my best reminder to stay present while breastfeeding is to have a note that says:

“When you're breastfeeding, just breastfeed.”

Is there an area of your life where you'd like to be more fully present?

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Intending to be Mindful

2/22/2015

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I'm Joanna, mother of Stevie, born at the end of October 2014. I'm the mama behind Colorado Mindful Mama. Or maybe I should say I aspire to be her.

I started this blog to help me stay on a mindful path in spite of being a mother. More precisely, I want to be present for all of the moments of motherhood—for the challenging times when I am up every two hours like the last two nights and for the sweet ones like when Stevie gives me a huge toothless smile while breastfeeding.

My husband and I started our mindfulness and meditation journey four years ago at an Intro to Meditation retreat at the
Himalayan Institute. Learning to meditate was my vehicle for becoming more present in my daily life—essentially practicing mindfulness.

Since that weekend retreat, I have meditated most days. This has surprised me because I'm exceptionally good at starting things. I'm not nearly as good at sticking with things I've started. I tend to dabble. But, with meditation and mindfulness, I am learning to accept myself and my life as it is. This practice has helped me to realize I have a choice each moment about how I'm going to respond to what shows up in my life. I do not have to follow old patterns and “jump down the rabbit hole” with a knee-jerk response that I have had so many times before. If I'm present, I have a chance to shift my response. I have a chance to change. They say it's a sign of insanity to do the same thing and expect a different outcome. Mindfulness and meditation are my way of seeking a better outcome in my life.

I find I tend to be a bit of a crab when I don't get my daily self-care time to stretch, do some yoga, and sit (meditate.) This is especially the case now that I'm living on less sleep than I could have ever imagined. I have always loved my sleep. I still do—I just don't get much.

I digress. This blog is a space where I will share my attempt at living mindfully now that I have joined the sisterhood called motherhood. I hope to offer truth, insights I make, some humor, and ultimately I hope it will help me to stay on this path that has been so life-changing for me.

I hope you will join me on this journey of discovery, whether you are a parent or not. If the last few months are any indication of how the future will be, this ride will be full of ups and downs with a good deal of absurdity mixed in. In other words, it will be humbling.

Blessings,

Joanna

P.S. If you are a local Colorado Springs area parent, check out the Mindful Parenting Meetup group I started. www.meetup.com/COSMindfulParenting/
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    About Me

    I'm Joanna, a Restorative Exercise Specialist, yoga teacher, wife, mom, nature-lover, gardener, amateur photographer, daily meditator, and wild food forager. I aspire to move more and better, play more, and enjoy life to the fullest.
    I've been a movement teacher since 2003, and I have been meditating and practicing mindfulness since 2011.
    I teach people in a lighthearted way how to move with greater ease and mindfulness, so they can live their greatest life!

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